Baby

Nighttime Harmony With Your Baby

"If you don't leave him in his crib, he will never learn to sleep through the night." I am going to give you the secret to sleeping through the night: don't have a baby! Why don't they sleep at night? It's like rocking baby in a rocking chair while singing a lullaby. Most mothers will attest to the fact that by the end of pregnancy, sleep is nearly impossible because come night time, baby is bouncing all around in there, wide awake.

A baby is born with a couple pressing tasks. Lastly, babies just have shorter sleep cycles. It is the experience of being peacefully in sync with your baby throughout the night. It is the difference between fighting against your baby in a battle for sleep and being connected with your baby for the mutual goal of rest.

The primary tenant of nighttime harmony is to do what feels right for you and baby. Tune in to your baby and do what feels right. Look into the eyes of your baby and tap into that maternal wisdom. If it feels right, keep it. Integrate it into your new idea of nighttime with your baby. Let's start with the 'where' of sleeping arrangements with baby. After waking up, walking down the hall, picking up baby, nursing while sitting up in the rocking chair, and putting baby back to bed you think, "I'll just pick him up and bring him to my bed and nurse him there. The reason co-sleeping works so well is because baby is getting all the things that makes him thrive: skin-to-skin contact, milk, mom's breathing regulates his own, mom's heartbeat is a soothing reminder of the womb, and mom's chest even regulates baby's temperature. And while baby is in heaven, so is mom.

You do your job of meeting your baby's needs while laying and resting effortlessly in bed- talk about harmony. Don't worry, your baby will NOT want to sleep with you forever (despite what some advice-givers will tell you).

Research shows that when mom's co-sleep with baby, they are so sharply attuned to baby that amazing things happen. If baby moves his head back, mom moves her head forward. If baby scoots down, mom scoots down. It is actually an amazing testament to the connection between mom and baby. Mothers accommodate baby's position all night long. Since fathers don't get to spend 9 months tuning in to baby, they are not attuned to baby while sleeping in this special way. That's why baby should sleep between mom and the end of the bed. 1. No big comforters on mom or baby.

2. Make sure there is some kind of a bed rail or place the mattress on the floor to prevent the baby from falling off the bed.

3. No siblings in bed with baby.

4. No co-sleeping if mom or dad has consumed any alcohol or medication.

5. Put baby to sleep on their back.

To cosleep actually means to sleep in close proximity with baby. You can buy a "co-sleeper" (Babies R Us) or side-car your crib as a toddler bed to accomplish the same goal. Baby will have her own designated space but be within arm's reach. If baby is in a different room I can't sleep. If baby is in my bed all night, I feel like I am "on the clock" and have trouble reaching the deepest stages of sleep. Every baby is different. Do what works best for you and your baby.

How do you get baby to sleep to begin with? Start by winding baby down with a nighttime routine. Some babies find peace in being tightly wrapped, mimicking the feeling inside the womb. Wearing down baby in a sling is a great way to ease baby to sleep. Breastfeed while babywearing to release all those feel good hormones and fill baby's tummy for a long stretch of sleep. While always being able to meet all the needs of your baby is ideal, parents are human beings. We need sleep. It is hard to balance the needs of your baby with your needs. Especially if you have a high needs baby, you have to give yourself permission to get the fuel you need to keep taking good care of that baby. Sometimes this might mean calling daddy up from the batter's box (giving daddy and baby time to establish their connection is good for both daddy and baby), giving a trusted family member a shift, or leaving baby in the crib. I am not a fan of scheduling babies (because what that usually really means is putting baby on your schedule) but there are some situations when a schedule is what's best for baby and family. To ensure every baby gets all the milk and sleep they need, schedules are sometimes necessary. Doing what's best for your baby and your family is the moral of this story. Sometimes doing what's best for you is what's best for baby in the long run.

Misconceptions about babies and sleep:

If you don't put baby to bed while he is still awake, he will never learn to fall asleep on his own. The logic behind this is that if you put baby to sleep while he is still awake, he will learn to self-soothe. Babies are dependent- they're supposed to be! If you pick up a baby when she is crying, you are teaching her to cry. Babies are not dogs. There are far more dynamics at play with a baby than a simple behavior/reward model covers. The "cry it out" method unfolds like this: baby communicates a need, no response, baby cries, no response, baby eventually gives up and learns that they their communication is not effective, caregivers are not there for them, their needs may not be met, and the world is not a safe place, baby stops crying. Now try this on for size: baby communicates a need caregiver responds sensitively (in an appropriate and timely manner) baby learns that communication is effective, caregivers are present and attentive, needs will be met, the world is a safe place, baby does not need to cry.

When babies sleep next to an attached caregiver there are several factors at play working to protect babies against SIDS.

· Mother is tuned into baby for signs of distress.

· Baby mirrors mother's steady and rhythmic breathing ("reminds" baby to breath).

· Baby mirrors mother's steady and rhythmic heart rate.

· Mother's chest actually regulates baby's temperature. If baby's temperature rises, mother's temperature lowers. If baby's temperature lowers, mother's temperature raises and she expels heat from her chest to warm baby.

Once you bring a baby into your bed, you will never get them out. As discussed above, a baby is dependent as an infant. Allow them a time of dependence! Baby sleeps with you while they are breastfeeding during the night. On a personal note, my first born son slept in our room when he was a baby. Babies need a strict bed time. Babies are born with an amazing mind-body connection. Strictly scheduling babies can disrupt this connection. It is incredible, but within a years time your baby will progress from random crying to talking. This is quite an achievement for your baby and in a very short period of time. Your baby will be able to understand speech long before actually talking. When your baby is eating, you may notice him making sucking type noises and sounds of contentment. The way that your baby cries is an important communication method while he is actually unable to talk. Crying lays the foundation for speech as your baby learns to control his vocal cords. Crying is also a baby's way of indicating hunger, discontentment, or general discomfort. Your baby will respond with a variety of cooing sounds, vowel-like sounds, and sometimes some consonant sounds such as a "k". Your baby will be making sounds such as "ahhhh gooo". By now more and more communication should be taking place with your baby. There will be lots of repetition to the sounds that your baby makes.

There will also be certain times when your baby may also not be in the mood for talking. Your baby may now be using consonant-vowel combinations. Your baby's language is becoming much more precise.

Here are some ways that you can help your baby develop her language skills:

· Let your baby respond in his own way when communicating with her.

Your baby is now continuing to learn how to use his newfound language skills. Your baby is playing games such as pat a cake and peek-a-boo. This helps the learning process.

For the entire beginning of their lives, babies are accustomed to one environment: the womb. The best way to help baby sleep more soundly, make the transition, and feel safe is to mimic some of the feelings of the womb.

Let's think about the environment baby is familiar with:

To us, the womb doesn't seem very comfortable, but to baby, it's home. You can ease the transition and help baby sleep by mimicking some of these qualities

Why Does This Feeling Help Baby Sleep? Babies, even in the womb, are extremely sensitive to emotions and feelings. Just like you, baby doesn't sleep well if she's not relaxed and feeling safe.

It comes as a domino effect: if baby is anxious or in some other way emotionally upset, she can't relax. Swaddle baby

Swaddling baby can help her relax and settle down because it mimics the close quarters of the womb. Swaddling baby all the time is fine for the first month of life; after that, baby needs access to her arms and legs to develop properly. However, you can still swaddle baby for naps and nighttime to help her sleep.

Swaddling is wrapping baby tightly in a blanket to mimic the feeling of the womb. Swaddling reminds baby of the safety and compact feeling of the womb.

How to swaddle baby

Lay a baby blanket on the floor and fold one corner into the center about 6 inches

Take the corner near baby's left hand and pull it across baby to the right, securing it underneath baby

Fold up the bottom of the blanket towards baby's chin, enclosing baby's feet

Take the corner near baby's right hand and pull it across baby to the left, securing it underneath baby

Swaddle baby when she is full, clean, and dry. Don't swaddle baby when it is very hot. Keep baby from overheating by not swaddling when it is very hot outside or when baby is in a warm room. This is especially important when baby is going to sleep, as overheating is a risk factor for SIDS.

Listen to baby so you know when she wants out. Baby will kick or squirm when she wants to be free, so pay attention for these actions. Let baby out if you know she is uncomfortable, or the feeling can cause distress and keep baby from relaxing.

Don't swaddle baby constantly after the age of one month. Find or buy a baby blanket

Practice swaddling a doll before attempting it on your live, squirming baby

Pay attention to baby's reaction to being swaddled and adjust if necessary

Strategies for Mimicking the Womb Bathe baby in a bucket

Baths can be a pivotal relaxation tool each day to help baby sleep, mostly because being immersed in water reminds them of being in the womb.

Naturally, you can see that how you bathe baby becomes an important part of helping baby calm down and fall asleep. Babies feel most comfortable in the fetal position, and a bucket provides this capability. A bucket is a natural choice for a bath because it almost forces baby into the fetal position. I know, it seems almost cruel to put your baby in a bucket, right? Bathing baby in a bucket is a popular form of baby care in Europe and is accepted as helping to calm and reassure babies in this big new world.

If possible, find a bucket with flexible sides, so that baby is supported softly and without any sharp edges or seams.

If you are like much of the population, your four-legged friend is your first "baby." Many people worry needlessly about how their dog will handle a baby in their life. Most dogs, when treated and trained properly, can handle life with a newborn very well.

Having a baby can cause problems for both humans and dogs, as the dog tends to be treated differently, and because of this, may act differently. Some owners baby the dog more, causing the dog to become spoiled and hard to handle. Other owners get over-stressed and punish the dog for normal, curious behavior toward the baby. Often our pets are the center of our world, our "babies" if you would, and can get "jealous" if not equipped to handle losing that status to the new baby. Sometimes the dogs become overprotective of the baby. Many owners enjoy and even prefer the dog being a guard for the baby. While it is normal for the dog to become protective of the baby, it is dangerous for the dog to become overprotective and not let anyone near the baby. As you are making preparations to bring home baby, you need to prepare your dog(s) for the same in advance if possible. While most dogs will be very gentle with the baby, many dogs do not see babies as humans because of their size, smell, and the strange noises they make. You need to prepare and educate your dog for what lies ahead. Please, please always be aware that your dog is an animal and animals can bite or do harm to a baby, intentionally or unintentionally. No matter how well-behaved or loving your dog is NEVER LEAVE YOUR DOG ALONE WITH YOUR BABY! You do not want to harm your baby or have to get rid of your dog because of an unfortunate, and possibly avoidable, incident.

If you are unsure that your dog will accept your new baby, please seek the advice of a professional trainer or behaviorist before making any decisions.

Believe it or not, your behavior with, and toward your dog matters. It can make or break your dog's acceptance of and respect for your baby. You want your dog to respect every human being in your household, including your baby. You must teach your dog respect for the baby. DO NOT YELL at your dog! Convey the meaning of the command through the tone of voice - match your voice to what you are telling your dog. Do not sing to your dog or ask the dog a question! If your dog gets overly excited when you praise him, tone it down a bit and speak softly. Our dogs feed off of our energies and emotions. If your dog does not already use a crate, now is the time to start. Confining your dog at certain times, such as for sleep or times when you cannot supervise, is no different than putting your baby in its crib for the same. It is actually very easy to teach your dog to accept being in the crate. Your child can be hurt by your dog as easy as your child could hurt your dog. The problem lies in the fact that if the dog makes even the slightest threat to your baby or even inadvertently hurts your baby, it is your dog's fault. Teach your dog how to be calm and gentle, by praising and treating this behavior.

Working commands into everyday life and play makes listening easy and normal for your dog. It becomes natural to the dog and it is less-likely that your dog will be out-of-control. As I stated earlier in the guide, exercise is imperative for your dog. If you do not have the time to walk for miles, using a doggie backpack can make a short walk seem like a long walk for your dog. A dog backpack immediately puts your dog into work mode, which will help to tire her brain. Teaching your dog to walk nicely next to the stroller is also important. If you plan to use a baby carrier, sling, backpack or car seat your dog needs to behave on the leash and walk with you, not pull you. It is a good idea to practice with the equipment before baby comes (use a doll in place of the baby) so that you can work out any kinks or problems.

Is your dog allowed on your furniture?-

If your dog is currently allowed on the furniture you may want to reconsider this as your baby will likely be on the furniture a lot. Dog hair and dirt can irritate your baby. You also don't want to have to constantly clean up after the dog. Your dog could also inadvertently injure the baby jumping up on the furniture or repositioning himself. Time-out for your dog-

Be sure you give your dog time away from the baby to settle. Your new schedule and your dog-

It is time to readjust the dog's schedule to acquaint her with the upcoming changes. Think realistically about the time you will have for the dog for things such as walks, feeding, potty breaks, play and attention. Try to keep the schedule consistent for your dog so that she does not feel unnecessary stress from the changes that are happening before your baby arrives. When your baby arrives things do not always go as planned. Babies do not follow schedules! Dogs feel safety when the rules and routines stay the same.

Pay less attention to your dog-

It is now time to teach the dog to expect less attention from you in one sitting. Once the baby arrives you will not have the same amount of quality time to spend with your dog, but it is still essential to make time for your dog. Schedule regular 5 to 10 minute sessions each day where you pay full attention to your dog. You can do things such as play, grooming, petting or just talk to your dog. This allows your dog to understand that he is still an important part of your life. You need to teach the dog that this time may be with or without the baby. Be aware that if you have more than one pet, each will need individual attention if possible. Your dog needs to be calm and balanced-

You need to make sure that your dog is calm and balanced before baby comes into the house. It is very important for your dog to learn how to be calm so that he does not hurt you or the baby. If your dog is not calm and balanced there are ways to help you accomplish this. Training and exercise are good places to start to achieve a calm and balanced dog. Is your dog gentle?-

Teaching your dog how to be gentle is extremely important so that he will not inadvertently hurt the baby. Does your dog jump?-

If your dog is a jumper, teaching proper greetings will help to curb this problem. It also facilitates the proper, gentle behavior your dog should have around the baby.

How will my dog handle the baby being rough with her?-

Teaching your dog what to physically expect from your baby is extremely important so that she is able to cope with and know what to do when baby pulls, hits or pushes her. Your dog also needs to learn how to deal with these behaviors from his small leaders. Start to gently handle your dog in a rougher fashion while praising good behavior and gently, if possible, correcting inappropriate behavior such as nipping or mouthing. Children tend to pet roughly, pull ears and tails, put their hands in the dog's face and touch sensitive areas on the dog. Make it a daily habit to have time on the floor with your dog touching every part of his body in a loving fashion. It also teaches the dog to be gentle while on the floor and to be submissive to you and your baby. Do this slowly and your dog will understand

Obedience training your dog-

Your dog needs to be obedience trained and have basic manners. Stay

Teaching the dog to respond to hand signals will also be beneficial. A sleeping baby is less likely to get woken up if you are not talking.

This ensures that you have control over your dog and tends to help make the dog better behaved. You should also walk your dog everyday. This gives your dog mental stimulation, as well as physical exercise, which helps to tire them out, thus making them less likely to get into trouble and an overall better behaved dog.

The "Go to Your Spot" command is a great command to have in your arsenal for a well-behaved dog. Teach your dog what he can chew on-

All dogs chew. Dog feces can contain parasites and other unwanted disease. Use treats of high value - treats your dog loves and doesn't normally get - when dealing with new baby sights, sounds and scents. The health and cleanliness of your dog is vital-

It is essential that your dog has a clean bill of health and is clean before you bring your baby home. Take your dog to the vet for a check-up to make sure that he has no health problems as these can cause unwanted behaviors in your dog that will interfere with his life with your baby. The next thing you need to make sure of is that you bathe your dog or have him groomed BEFORE the baby comes home. Be careful not to over-bathe your dog as this can cause skin problems in many dogs. It also creates problems as you will not have much time to bathe him once the baby is around. It also reduces the chance that your dog will carry in something that will cause an allergic reaction in you or your baby

Also, make sure to vacuum or sweep regularly as dog hair accumulates fast. Everything is different with a baby. Holding a baby changes your posture, and your mannerisms, so your dog needs to be comfortable and accepting of this. The dog also needs to follow commands and be obedient when you have the baby or the baby is out and about. Using a doll while practicing everyday commands will help your dog respond better when the baby arrives. Take the dog for walks, play with the dog, and all the normal things you do with your dog with and without the baby equipment and doll.

Baby sounds-

Getting your dog used the sounds of a baby is also a good idea. This allows your dog to familiarize herself with the alien noises that it may not have heard before so that it is not a surprise when baby comes home. Things like crying, gurgling, yelling/screaming, and baby babble are not necessarily normal for a dog to hear. Start the volume low and expose your dog for short periods of time at first. Try to play the recording everyday until the baby arrives.

Real babies and children-

Another good idea is to expose your dog to the real thing - real babies and children. If you have friends or relatives who have babies you can ask if they will allow your dog to listen in or even record them for you. You can visit places like parks, if your dog is well-behaved, so your dog can hear all of the noises children make. Baby smells-

The smells of a baby are often unfamiliar to a dog. Slowly start to get your dog used to these new smells by using the products you will use on your baby, such as baby oil, powder, baby wash and diaper cream. Putting these products on baby blankets and baby clothes will also help. If you have friends or relatives that have babies, ask to borrow used and unwashed blankets and burp cloths so that the dog can get accustomed to the real smells of a baby.

Setting up the nursery allows your dog to become acquainted with changes in the house. It allows your dog to become comfortable with the sights and sounds associated with baby equipment, thus avoiding shock when baby arrives.

Keeping the door shut or a baby gate in the doorway helps to achieve this. Your dog will not feel left out or anxious about no longer being allowed in that room. Another good idea is to put a dog bed outside of the nursery so that your dog is still close to you, but not in the room. This also helps to keep the room clean and free of dog hair and dirt. If you plan to allow your dog in the nursery start to teach the proper behaviors as soon as possible. You may also want to have a bed or rug in there that your dog is allowed to lay on (remove it when you and the dog are not in the room). When the baby starts to crawl and move about you may want to limit the amount of time the dog spends in there and never leave the baby alone with the dog.

Baby's things are off-limits-

Make sure to constantly reinforce that the baby's things are not the dog's things. Even though you may have practiced this before the baby came home, dogs do need reminders.

Dogs love things that have human waste on them, such as dirty diapers and feminine products. Teach your dog to leave baby blankets alone and not to lay or step on them. If your dog tries to walk or lay on them use a firm "NO" and redirect your dog to a proper spot and have him lay down. You want to prevent possible injuries to your baby from your dog while baby is lying on or hiding under the blankets (as often babies do!).

Teach your dog which toys belong to him-

It is recommended to teach your dog what toys are his and what toys are the baby's before baby arrives so that you will not have problems after. This is also a good idea because you can purchase toys similar to what your baby will have and not worry about using baby's actual toys for these exercises. Put bitter apple on the baby's toys and peanut butter on the dog's toys. Before you give your dog the choice about which toys he wants, take a little bitter apple on your finger and wipe it around in your dog's mouth. This will help your dog to immediately identify the nasty taste on the baby toys. If you do not do this the bitter apple often dilutes and the dog will be able to get the baby's toys because the taste is bearable. Make sure to have some treats ready to reward your dog when he chooses his toys over baby's. Put the dog's leash on and you are ready to begin. When your dog does "leave" the baby toys alone, praise and treat. You can also teach the dog the concepts of "Mine", "Baby's" and "Yours" by adding these phrases to the training sessions. When the dog goes for his toys you can say, "Good! Yours!" When the dog goes for the baby's toys say, "No, Leave-it, Baby's". You can use the same principle as used for the baby's toys when the dog goes for something that is yours by substituting "Mine" in place of "Baby's."